Loverealnotfake

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Rewind

friday was nicely spent with those much loves..met up with sara,ch,j n qx at cp at 9am..went into sch..they went around the school to talk to teachers..left shortly with qx to meet up with clinque at seragoon..went to ZHPS to find Mrs Lee..toured the whole primary sch,suggested that we play hide & seek..and we really did played...went to the AVA & music room..oh my god those were the rooms that me,elaine,hannah,krystal n peilin hated the most..we went into with much fears..it has been like more than 12 years when that incident happened and the fear still lingers in our hearts..i will never want to go through those fear again..lunched at the canteen,had the long waited Mee Siam with elaine & mike..went off the mama shop,tibits session...bused back to sengkang,played bball at the bball court behind my house..i spent my day running,jumping & go ga-ga despite the fact that my leg still hurts..KFC dinner with clinque at rivervale plaza and home sweet home..

something very surprising happened,and i really wished that time could stop at that very moment..

work sucks..had staff meeting early in the morning due to some inconsiderate people with the freaking attitude..and we had to hold a staff meeting..f*ck you!!!not many customers in the early morning..lunch hour was spent by grabbing a sandwich at 7-eleven with qx and we headed to town to collect my Gucci bag..."Your Gucci My Porter" does it sounds familiar?shall head to IKEA one day with my parents to get my long waited cupboard..the food here is simply not nice..walked around those heartland stores and found my childhood lover..so that was simply our dinner..me & qx only had a sandwich n my childhood lover for lunch & dinner..met up with Mike,elaine,krystal,james and headed to Jean's pub..drink drank drunk..homed at 2 plus..went online and finally i saw qx messenger...it was really funny...for what press number what..i went to disturb him by pressing 1 to 5...dota,bowling,pub/club,gambling and other enquries..conference call with qx,elaine,krystal,mike..went ga-ga in our half drunk state..
dad went back to Jakarta due to some company's issue and he will be back on 6 Sep..planning a JB trip with family on 8 Sep..

oh my god,work again tmr!!!!!!!!lucky there is my best lunch partner..i shall head off to bed and the time is already 4am plus..

to Passer:if u are interested can u please leave your mail behind so that i can contact u..

sometimes some people really make me feel disgusted..i am not a person whereby you can easily see through what kind of person i am and what is on my mind..if you don't know me very well,don't act as if you are so close to me and as if you know me for years..sometimes i hide my feelings from those people whom i don't really know,that is because i don't see the need to show my true feelings in front of you if you don't know me well..i know sometimes i rather keep my feelings to myself rather than sharing it aloud,that is all because i don't see that there is a need to..if you act as if you know me so well,it will only make me more paranoid and scare to face you..i really feel like crying but i am embrassed to cry in front of everyone..i don't want to despite the fact that i really feel like crying..i just want a shoulder to lean on..i just want some private moments so that i can pour out my heart feelings and cry it all out..

i might be transferred to Novena soon..away from the wonderful peeps at Parkway..somehow feel the manager is damn sucky..i learnt to bring my own bag to work now...so that i won't forget my hp & wallet with qingxiang animore..i m damn forgetful i noe...met up with Joeanne before work this morning,pass her the comestics..collected the debts as claimed by Joeanne..all thanks to those money that i have money to cab to work..breakfast at the soya bean stall..cabbed to work..lunch at the food centre,the food there is really not nice at all...dinner at coffeebean..the meal is definitely nicer than the one at the food centre..bused home with qx while carol went to meet her bf..both of us fell aslp on the bus and when the bus reached the interchange,we were woke up by the bus uncle..damn embrassing...

FRIDAY IS OFF DAY!back to CVSS with qx,ch,cw & sara..
ZHPS PEEPS,PLS NOTE THAT WE ARE MEETING AT 12 NOON AT SERAGOON CENTRAL MACDONALD...MIKE HAS ARRANGED TO MEET MRS LEE AT 1PM,SO PLEASE MAKE SURE THAT YOU REACH MACDONALD ON TIME..AND PLEASE DROP ME AN SMS TO CONFIRM WHETHER YOU ARE COMING OR NOT...

i am getting more and more answers from my own heart..i don't understand why did love knock at the wrong time?and when love comes knocking at our own door,we refused to open the door of our heart to let the love come in and stay..

work seems to be fine for the past two days..went off to meet choon hin n the rest after work todae..chill at Mac at AMK..was being a child once again..played at the playground..
friends,if sms are replied by someone with the name called QING XIANG!!!pls jus ignore..cos my phone is mostly with him during work..heels kills bcos mr lin here accidentally make me fall while we went out to have dinner and my leg seems to be getting more and more swollen...u should noe wad to do right,mr lin?
looking at my half swollen leg i feel like stuggling funfun!!!!!!
work agn tmr...i have to meet joe at seragoon tmr before going work as i had to pass her all the comestics she bought from me..
anyone interested in buying M.A.C/Bobbi Brown/Kose/Estee Lauder comestics,drop me an email/sms/call,i will get back to you regarding the prices and how long the comestics will arrive..

3 posts in a day..how bored can i get?was browsing through friendster and found this
"T ogether 'til the end, is what was oncespoken,
O r is that just what you wanted to say?
R eally, I'd be heart broken
E veryday, I thank God for you in everyway
V ery often do I forget to say, "I loveyou
S till
R emember me when you're scared andremember I care about you too!
N ever take anything for granted,
E ven if there was a fight or two.
V ery Lucky am I, to have you as my
S pecial
One
E veryday I think about you,
R emembering we're gonna be
H oldin hands and
W alkin together
E ven if we're both scared,
N ever will I say Good- Bye.
D idn't I always say, "Forever Never
Ends?"
S o, please believe me when I say,
"I love you."

family dinner ended earlier than expected..home sweet home..the weather is shivering cold..freaking cold..those who went for ytd dinner and u wan the photos rmb to pm me on MSN..if i m offline leave me an offline message..i will send it to u guys..and can those who are going for Desaru trip pls double confirm with me..

omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg..WORK STARTS TMR!!!
how fun can my holidays be?other than work work work work it is still work..
since i got no one to date this holiday i am going to make full use and work work work..earn more money..buy more branded goods..
addicted to gossip girl..it is nice..

i got more and more hint towards the answer that i want to get from you..but those hints never come from you yourself..tell me yourself..tell me the answer that i have been waiting..tell me what is in your heart..i want to know,i really want to..i don't want you to always be the one listening to my problems,i also want to know what is on your mind..i don't want to wait till when problems get too out of hand then i hear it from you..i want you to be there no matter what happen,but i also want to be there for you no matter what you are going through..tell me what is on your mind,i don't want to be guessing your feelings..i want an answer..the answer might not be the perfect answer that i am waiting for but at least i got my answer..i just hope to get answer..
it may not be the perfect story that you are going to tell but i am going to be by your side and listen to you till you finish the whole story..

WORK TMR..

it is again another raining day..heaven seems really determined in keeping me at home..starting work tomorrow..with qx & elaine..sounds fun..

PEOPLE IF YOU COME TO MY BLOG AND CAN'T TAG BCOS THE TAGBOARD DOESN'T APPEAR,PLEASE KINDLY REFRESH AND THE TAGBOARD WILL APPEAR..
i know it is troublesome but thanks for the trouble..

one of my new year resolution this year is NOT TO CELEBRATE MY BIRTHDAY IN ANY FORM OTHER THAN A SIMPLE DINNER AT MY HOUSE!!
i am re-emphasizing this because boswell n the rest has been asking where will my bdae celebration be at this year..
IN ANOTHER WORDS THERE IS NOT BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR ME THIS YEAR..
for some reasons i jus want to spend my birthday with my loved & closed ones..and i seriously hoped that no one smash my face into the cake or scare me with whatever scary things..

family dinner at Furama later on..i am not letting funfun stay at home alone..don worry..i will bring him out whenever i go..

i am right here waiting..standing in the rain waiting for the person who once made a pact with me to come back..lead the way into our future so that i will not fall..hold my hand tight and never let go..

i received tons of messages and calls yesterday night while i was sleeping soundly on my cozy bed..woke up at 9am plus this morning and saw those messages..i am very grateful to those who cared but i am really ok..almost everyone messages was the same..a couple of friends left me voicemail too..but don't worrry guys.. LYNN IS FINE.. compass point early in the morning wit mum for breakfast..home and watched videos while mum went to grandma's house..peilin went out with her bf n bert was missing in action..so i had the whole house to myself..explored more HTML code and decided on a few blogskins,changed and reserved it for future use.. someone asked me out to eat CRABS while he knows that i don eat CRABS!he came and dragged me out of my house..bathed and went to meet the rest at Upper Thomas..the weather is shivering cold..under such heavy rain,i actually got out of my comfy house..ZHPS gathering..tons of crabs was ordered..no place to sit and we had to sit at the back alley..shivering cold..forgot to bring my jacket and qx being the gentleman lent me his jacket..crapped with the rest..home sweet home at 11pm.. dad suggested to me that we could spend a wk over at uncle's hse in malaysia..i corrected him by saying that dad&mum could spend a wk there but not me.. i am going to spend my holiday and weekend working...why am i spending so much of my time working?i don't have much things to look forward to this holidays,other than meeting up with some lovelies and desaru trip.. someone made a pact with me when i was in sec 2 and i wished that he remembered the pact..

HAPPY 18TH BDAE TO ZHEN ZHEN..
STAY CUTE AND LOVELY ALWAYS...
hope you like the present,cakes and how the day was spent..

we stayed strong till today...we realised that we are not meant for each other..we both have different dreams,different ambition..but i am really glad that for what we had been through,there is always you and me..memories always stayed don't they?we are still close friends no matter what..just like what we promised in the start..if things don't work out between us,we will and must still stay as gd friends..i am glad that we are still good friends..
i guessed my aus trip is cancelled..i remembered me telling you that it was best that we could maintain our relationship in a quarrel free manner..but we couldn't...being in a long distance relationship really need lots of determination,confidence,trust and belief..but i guess what i lack of most is confidence and what you lack of most is determination..through these 11 months,i learnt alot from u..maybe we are not counted as breaking up but some sort of peaceful ending..at the start,we told each other that we should give each other a chance to see if things can work out..but soon,we started to see problems facing out but we kept it from each other to give each other a chance to work things out,but i guess fate isn't by our side..
i am still glad that we decided that we can't go on like this,we must let go of each other and move on with our lives..
no matter what i hope that now you can pursue your dreams,no one is holding you back..i am happy that i am not the one holding you back from pursuing your dreams..but i might surprise you suddenly by showing up either in HK or Aus be prepared..i am still happy that you promised you will chat with me every night..i am glad i have a friend like you..

last day of exams..met up with zhen at cp..cake and presents for her..had the long waited KFC meal..ages since i last had KFC with her..bused home,slacked,didn't even bother to check out Second life(a game)..painted nails..got damn hungry and ask elaine and qingxiang for help..at first they asked me to order Mac..i dun wanna haf fast food every meal..qing xiang being so kind bought sakae sushi over to my hse..elaine left shortly after me getting the peace call from gary..qing xiang is aso leaving soon..seems to be a too happening day for me..i am not as strong as you think..i want a shoulder to lend on also..but right now i just want to hide into my bed and sleep the night away..

please if you still remember the stupid pact that we made,can you please just have some courage and tell me that you really meant it?but if you have forgotten it then i guessed it's ok..maybe i should really moved on..

Labels: thanks for the memories..

through these years i did whatever i could to give in to you..when you wanted to calm down alone,needed some time alone,i will leave the room and let you have the whole room to yourself..i know we are not blood sisters and you have always been mindful of the fact that i am the one that your brother dote on me more rather than doting on you..i don't understand why you can't seem to understand how i feel after so long..
just spare me this time round,i got no more energy to explain every single thing to you..
financial management paper at 9am and last paper on friday will be IFA..

Qing xiang,thanks for companying me to study at Mac today for the whole day!!

ONG ZHEN ZHEN,JIA YOU FOR TMR EXAMS AND WISH U BEST OF LUCKS FOR ALL YOUR PAPER..

i got K660i from cousin,jus bcos they applied for many many lines from M1 and they could get to choose the phone,so i got one choice...addicted to sony ericsson phone now!!i am going to treasure my K660i like my precious..

i am bored..extremely bored..no one is on second life,but i am so happy that fiddle fall gave me L$120 for free by just guessing the name of the song..so yah since yahoo or goggle was in the options,so i continue to use Yahoo to find the answers..L$10 for each correct guess..so i got a total of 12 correct..
get my laze butt up and reply to all the tags here..

Dawn:surprise that u tag my blog..haha..muacks..two more paper and we are done...Jia You..

Gary:miss u 2!!!!!

James:so late liao ma,i think my eyes got problem,i mistook the red line as the yellow line and end up taking one whole big group to the wulu wulu de place,damn scary..

Qingxiang:since when i nv reply ur sms?i reply super duper fast de lor!!!!u slow lah,u reply so slow!!!!!

Peilin:u r here even after 18 years....all these years i have u....

Hannah:u noe wad i m referring to de lor...

Jason:emo cos u nv ask me go makan wad,got gf forget friends liao lor...

Elaine:wad is with the merry christmas song?it is still far away from christmas..i know u r oways there...

Chloe:u guys are the one that are there no matter how long it is no matter what happened...love u guys to the max...

Hannah:u not free wad...boo...u like that sae me later i emo agn...u n elaine really very bad to qing xiang..

Qing xiang:after so long,we are too used to bullying u,u mus aso get used to it wad..sooner or later u will report to police that we abuse u...haha..

Hazel:well said...best buds for life..when going back mavis agn?

Elaine:who dare not to reply ur calls??

Chloe:go Singtel/Kose for interview..if i ever get myself to go for training on saturday then i might be working for Kose but if i don't bother to go for training then i will be working for Singtel with qing xiang & deb...

Eileen:sometime got contact cos last time working at the same place ma..

Krystal:haha..i m still there...

Peilin:i am even more bored than u now..how bored can we get??

Hannah:i noe lah,u miss me too much therefore can't wait to see me right?haha..

Benjamin:hahaha..i don give a damn to them....

replies to tags are done..and i m getting more bored..dad n mum are out for dinner with their friends n they seems to have more gathering than me...cousin is out for tution gotta fetch him later..need to head down to seragoon to get bajojo food...i really freaking hate those china ppl..some unconsiderate neighbour cut my flower and a few weeks ago my neighbour's plant was stolen,see how irritating these people are!!!

on a positive note,audit & cost accounting paper are over..and i m left with two more paper(FMGT & IFA)..i am still considering my job offers since the end of my choice is this friday...i shall crack my brains and compare pros & cons of these 3 jobs after my paper on friday..
I AM MEETING MISS ONG ZHEN ZHEN ON FRIDAY!!!!!EXCITED!!!!
and let me mention something here..everytime i visit zhen's blog,i will spend 10 mins there..not only to read the entries but also to play with the sheep...it is so so so so so so so cute....
i got a new Nike bag which is red in colour and it was the newest Nike design which was meant to be a laptop bag..bf bought tt for me on thursdae in the morning....

i know you always wanted me to be independent,to always be able to hold everything up all by myself..i know i can...i know you always complained that i laughed too loudly while we are watching doraemon cartoon,comedy or even when i am readin the tudou book..but i also know that when you are in aus,you are not used to not hearing my laughter..i am really glad that despite you have to get everything done and get ready for your morning lesson tomorrow morning,you made a great effort to call me,to chat with me,to find out what happened for the day..you made a great effort to make this relationship work out and i know i have to also make an effort so that our relationship will be able to work out and last...i promised i will keep my promise and learn to manage everything myself..
despite all these distance apart,i still love you..
how i wish you were in HK so that we don't have a time difference of two hours betweeen us..

dad has been nagging me for coming home real late for the past few days..cousin making tons of noise despite the fact that he should also be studying for his exams...audit paper was still okie...found a new friend on second life jus now,we are of the same age and we major in the same thing accounting!!rivervale plaza Mac seems to be the perfect place for studying,met krystal there earlier,elaine joined us later..i used to love studying at home but yah cousin is making too much noise..
i seemed to hate the quietness of my phone,my home,my room..it's no longer seems to same without you here by my side..i hate the long night without you by my side..

i hate to see you turning your back and leaving me here all alone.
i want to hear your voice every now and then.
i want you to suddenly appear in front of my door with breakfast/lunch/dinner.
there is still alot of things undone,i needed more time with you..i appearing to be smiling but do you know how i feel inside?my heart is aching.
if i were to say can you don't go,would it be different?i guess it will still be the same.because this is what we need to go through.
LYNN BE STRONG,TIME FLIES!!

read eileen's blog and realised we were reallie on our own after the one year of fun in sec 3.if i had a chance to choose,sec 2 n 3 would be my choice...the fun,the laughters,the slacking,the skipping of asp & cca,the jokes in class,the not doing of homework,the part of making the teachers mad..
once there was someone who asked me is there anything in secondary school that will leave me thinking?
my answer was YES,there are many things..
sec 1=i didn't make many friends,except for a few..
sec 2=fun and laughters..great companies...
sec 3=love and hate relationship with the class..
sec 4=absolutely boring wished it doesn't exists at all..

i guessed it was all in the past,i don want to bother anymore,most of us went seperate ways but true friends stay no matter what it was..i believed in this since young..
primary school friends remained close till now whereas for secondary friends some stayed and some left..i don have the confidence to find back those friendships that i have lost,but i want to keep those that are still with me...time doesn't wait for anyone..

audit paper later..

i need no one to judge me,no one to judge my relationship..i am who i am..i am happy for myself regarding my life now,don't judge me based on my past..i know in the past i smoked,skipped classes like no one business,drink like there is no tomorrow,slacked like mad,i won't get home till like 2++am everyday..but now,i am not..i quitted smoking long ago,i seldom drink till i get very drunk,i no longer skip classes,i am home mostly even before 12 midnight..so don't ever judge me,i don't need anyone to judge me..i just want to be who i am,please open your eyes wider and take a closer look at who i am now.. please just get out of my life and don't look back at me or my past anymore..everyone make mistakes but i realised my mistakes earlier and managed to correct them all..and i learnt a couple of lessons from this... i am glad i had family,bf n friends who always stood by me no matter what happened..

appearing offline on MSN seems to be a new trend..i dreamt of zhen,me,bf,alex,jm,jh,kh,bs,j in cvss uniform ytd nite..n the funniest ting was that we are wearing uniform,sitting at the canteen table having STEAMBOAT!!!i mus be mad...at first it was onli me with the 4C&4D guys but later i went on to sms zhen zhen n ask her whether she was coming n then she replied me that she was in the LRT...n wen i saw her i was veri excited and extremely happy...in my dreams i took a foolscap n listed out all the close friends i made in cvss...i m goin to list out those in ZHPS,NSPS & CVSS..my close friends..

Zhong Hua Primary School:
-Elaine
-Peilin
-Hannah
-Krystal
-Boswell
-Shanti
-Xiang Wei
-Micheal
-Jessicca
-Qing Xiang

North Spring Primary School:
-Zhen Zhen
-Hui Ying
-Vanessa
-Douglas

Compassvale Secondary School:
-Qing Xiang
-Zhen Zhen
-Alex
-Douglas
-Han Liang
-Karen
-Jia Ming
-Kar Hao
-Jia Hao
-Jashawn
-Choon Hin
-Chia wei
-Farliana
-Sheena
-Ke Jia
-Qian ling
-Sara
-Hakim
-Benjamin
-Joey
-Shereen
-Teck Sheng
-Si Qi

there are many more whom i don't know how to classified..but u guys are definitely in my heart..n i noticed there are a few names appearing twice...that shows how long our friendships were...i love the ZHPS clinque so much,for every little thing we did together..Elaine being the first friend i got to noe in primary school..xiang wei & clinque being my buddy while i was in p1...qing xiang being my sch bus partner every evening..huiying,zhen n douglas n vanessa making NSPS a fun place to be in...those ppl in cvss despite i don haf a memorable sec 4 yr wit my class but those were the friend that were there oways no matter what happened..the 4 year class mate that i had=alex,the december babies=hakim & jm,the listener=han liang & karen,the trouble-giver=kh,jh,j,ch,cw,the sweeties=farliana,sheena,kejia,qian ling & sara..the one i was mean to yet treated me as a nice friend=benjamin...the one that made MMC fun=joey,shereen & OTS..
the best person i met in CVSS is you=WONG HO LUN!
for whatever thing that happened i knew i have all of you...

in case u nv noticed,the link has been changed..pls be more than honoured to know that i actually tell u my new blog link cos i have been doing quite a lot of tings to restrict unwanted people from reading my blog..i guessed the people reading my blog should be either best friends,close friends or friends whom is worth talking to...
shitty and sucky people don't gain access to my blog...

friday's night was great..perfect company,nice ambience..nothing more to ask for..hazel tan was the killer..almost all got drunk..didn't get home till morning..was shocked to know that dad n mum went to uncle's place in malaysia and i seriously want to know the reasons why are they going there so often now!!!!they didn't even bothered to call me as they assumed that i was staying over in elaine's hse..i don't seems to understand what is going on in the family...despite they are still doting parents..but i wish sometimes they could just fill me in about the things that is happening in the family..
back home,changed and realised there is no tution for cousin today so i had to bring him out with us..asked him to get dressed and off to go to meet the rest for shopping..we are all not in the national day mood..Toy R Us for cousin,he took almost an hour to choose the best toy he claimed..spent money on fabulous food...taka basement is oways the best place for food to share..cousin ate tons of things..we had fun too...cameras was flashing non-stop at the unglam pics of who and who eating...the guys almost couldn't stand us...cos of our non-stop gossiping...bert,mike and bf was kind enough to take cousin to starbucks while we shopped..out of impulse,i bought 2 pairs of heels,one Guess bag...i spent $400 in less than an hour..and my gucci boston bag reservation is confirmed n it will be arriving in less than a month's time!!!!i shall ask my parents out for dinner before i fly to aus so that i can get the Chloe bag that dad promised me...clinque is having a dinner gathering at Furma...buffet dinner...

i might be going overseas to study after graduating from poly and my ideal place to study is in aus but i wonder if i can survive 3 years alone overseas without the clinque...but that is only one of my choice..who knows i might really have the courage to leave everything behind and go overseas alone...

gotta run if not bert might kill....
there will be quite a lack of updates since exams are near and i shud be mugging but i m spending my time somewhere else...

tuesday
IFA tutorial in school,mini shopping done at KAP..went to elaine's hse n waited for the rest..rest came later..bert took our passports and told dad that we will be home late..he is such a great brother since young..steamboat was the hit...bugis was not our choice therefore decided to go over to JB for the sake of the extremely cheap steamboat and the petrol...felt extremely dangerous going in Mike's car bcos his dad was being real nice to him to change him a BMW sports car while Bert's was only a Subaru...3 guys took turns to drive...Mike was forbid to drive back bcos we were worried that he went opposite direction..steamboat at the usual old place..damn cheap and nice..me and elaine ordered the extra chili soup base...ended up onli me,her,bf n bert dare to eat the extra chili part..krystal n hannah n peilin missed out the fun...bert n his gf was kinda quiet..mike was as usual being the noisy one..bf being the supporting one...me and elaine was being crazy all the while..dad called halfway and he did not scold me!!!!he asked me to be careful and ask bert to drive carefully...the three rich guy paid for our meal..tried to make friends with bert's gf but it seems to be extra difficult..mi n elaine shopped arnd at the minimart while the guys pumped petrol and she didn't bothered to join us...since bert n me lived in the same hse i shud be in his car on the wae back but i told him i wan to be with bf they all...he sort of sense the reason but kept quiet till we were home..midnight ice-cream eating session in mike's car..almost made a mess..home sweet home,bathed and slept..

wednesday
breakfast at amk with mum..bought noting much...homed,bath and met up with bf,elaine n mike at town..dinner was buffet dinner at our fav place..

i simply can't live without them in my life..chatted with bert after i reached home,dad&mum was out for dinner with dad's friends..he actually told me that his gf mentioned that i was WILFUL,SEEMS TO BE ACTING TO BE NICE,TOO TALKATIVE,TOO NOSEY!!!i feel like asking her to shut up if she was the one telling me all these...fine i don give a damn..i grew up with bert n pei and since young we have been like blood brother and sisters,so no matter what u said,too bad it doesn't matter..

happy 11 months..
Malaysia trip later in the morning with family and i realised we are going in 2 seperate cars..

how fast time flies,it is already the 11th month..soon it will be one year..i remember us making a wish at the temple when i was in hongkong..and we successfully threw the wishing item onto almost the highest tree branch..we made a pact to celebrate every single one of our anniversary together plus we must celebrate each other's birthday no matter how busy we are..but i realised we can't celebrate our special one year anniversary with each other,never mind it is okie..we can think of something even better to replace the normal celebration..but at least we can still hear each other voice,see the messages sent to each other..the day i dreamt of you telling me that blogging was such a boring thing to do,but i am so used to blogging..at times i thought blogging was just an avenue to voice out my feelings,but now it seems to be more of a habit rather than just simply voicing out my feelings..despite me dreaming of you saying blogging is boring,i can't seem to stop this habit..i used to think that if we were back in secondary school and i did not misunderstood their meanings,what will become of us today?i kind off missed the good old secondary school days despite the ugly uniforms and we used to hang out till the wee hours of the next day,rushed hm for a few hours of slp and then rushed off to school..in school,we did not really talk alot but just exchanged those normal smile..but it seems all so fated..i used to hear about friend telling me that they were interested in you,and i just gave a smile and get back to what i was supposed to do..and when i first told you who was interested in you,you would always hit my head and tell me not to be stupid..

the first time i sent you to the airport,i gave you a friendly hug..
the second time i sent you to the airport,i gave you a forever friends bear with the alphabet "G"..
the third time i sent you to the airport,i gave you a memory card with all our photos..
the fourth time i sent you to the airport,i gave you the 3 words "i love you"..
the fifth time i sent you to the airport,i gave you my heart..
the sixth time i sent you to the airport,i gave you my words to be less wilful and more independent..
the seventh time i sent you to the airport,i gave you the 6 words "can you stay here forever,please?"..

once you told me before we were a pair,if i were to tell you not to leave,you will stay and you will choose to study here..but i am really sorry that i didn't have the courage to tell you not to leave..but now i really hope that you don't leave and stay here with me forever..i kept asking whether can you don't leave me all alone here,but you said that you are sorry and hope that i can understand..please don't worry,i will understand..